As a woman living in the modern world, I am constantly stressed. There are so many thoughts going on in my mind that make me feel unworthy, especially when I am faced with society’s view of what women should look and act like. If I am not meeting those standards, am I less of a woman? Is there room for me to be a person with normal interests if I am not first living up to society’s expectations for women? Is there room for any woman to lean into inside jokes, “girly” hobbies and feminine practices without becoming tangible symbols for harmful and sexist stereotypes? It seems as if we cannot do anything right, no matter what expectation we are playing into. 

One of the internet’s latest trends, “Girl Math,” addresses these questions if you analyze the ideas as closely as I did. If you are not aware of Girl Math, it is essentially a fun method that women on the internet are using to justify their spending habits. For example, here are some of the more popular principles of Girl Math that have been going around on social media, specifically TikTok, for the last month or so: 

• “Round down, not up.” So, if something is $26, it’s actually $20.
• “Anything under $5 is free.”
• “Canceling plans is making money.” If you’re not spending money, you’re making money.
• “Returning something is making money.”
• “Anything paid for in cash is free.” If you can’t see the proof of purchase on your bank statement, it didn’t happen.
• “Concerts are free.” By the time the concert comes around, you’ve already made the money you spent on the ticket back, so it cancels out. 

One can see even after minimal research into this trend that these principles mainly revolve around what are typically classified as more “feminine” or “girly-pop” goods and services. Women are not “girl-mathing” through home mortgages or Roth-IRA’s, but Starbucks, Target and various other forms of entertainment. While this trend allows women to justify their financial decisions in a care-free way, I feel an obligation to bring up the more complex ideas surrounding this trend, in terms of female communities and how femininity is viewed in society today. 

In an attempt to find an explanation to Girl Math and its social and cultural effects, I interviewed Dr. Lauren Hawthorne of Rockhurst’s Psychology Department and discussed how this trend, along with how the recent popularity of femininity is affecting women today.

Dr. Hawthorne is a social psychologist, meaning that in terms of gender studies, she focuses on how stereotypes of femininity influence the individual. As a professor of psychology and gender studies here at Rockhurst, she had some insightful takes on Girl Math and how women seem to be forming communities based on their femininity. When asked about her own understanding of Girl Math, she explained that while she didn’t do a deep dive into the social media trend, she did notice some surface level characteristics.  

“The stuff I saw was very stereotypical in terms of the products they’re pushing. I saw a lot of makeup or concert tickets,” said Professor Dr. Hawthorne.  

As we further discussed the idea of femininity and the stereotypes that have long been pushed onto women, Dr. Hawthorne said, “I think within the community, it can potentially be empowering or be a sense of comfort or shared social bonding.” She agreed that in a certain way, Girl Math can be positive practice for women.  

The idea of women creating communities through their shared interests is significant to me personally because as a woman that spends a lot of time on the internet, it seems that these communities are almost a way for women to protect themselves from sexist expectations of how they should exist. Trends like Girl Math are an escape for women on the internet to live as they want to live, without feeling any obligations toward the patriarchal view of femininity, or even different forms of feminism that encourage women to be “girl bosses.” In order to enjoy yourself as a feminine person, it feels like you must detach yourself and your actions from society’s opinion of what “feminine” really means.  

Dr. Hawthorne added that it is possible to enjoy femininity without feeling as though you’re giving into stereotypes: “Part of it is understanding that if you like stereotypical things, it doesn’t mean you are a stereotype. Stereotypes aren’t necessarily bad in and of themselves. Like the stereotype of ‘girls like pink’ isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just when we assign a value to pink.”  

 So, when answering the question of ‘can women be feminine without giving into a stereotype about femininity?,’ one must consider the possibility of being feminine in a way that supports women and feminine people, without internal biases of typically ‘girly’ things. 

In terms of intersectionality and making sure one is being inclusive of all women and feminine people, Dr. Hawthorne points out that Girl Math and other fun internet trends between women can be stepping stones for more serious conversations: “You can use it as a tool to open up. I really love feeling girly or pretty because of these reasons, and also Girl math is fun, but let’s talk about who can’t ‘girl math’ their way into Beyonce tickets.”  

While this moves away from the original inquiry of how to be feminine without being a stereotype, it is still important to bring into the conversation the opportunities women and feminine communities can make for themselves. 

Reclaiming your femininity without regard for societal judgment is easier said than done. However, through my research of Girl Math and the communities women make for each other, I have seen that it is possible. It is entirely possible to be a feminine person in this world, especially when you take advantage of online spaces and trends that focus on women leaning into their femininity. While this is something that is to be celebrated for women, especially being one of the largest groups of people who are given the short end of the stick, all human beings in general have the obligation to look out for those who have an even shorter stick. So keep in mind the next time you are participating in a fun online trend to listen to those in your community who are struggling, asking for help, or are simply asking for someone to listen to them.  

If you are interested in learning more about Dr. Hawthorne’s area of expertise, she is teaching multiple courses around psychology and gender studies next semester, as well as next calendar year: 

• General Social Psychology: Introduction to Prejudice and Discrimination (Next semester)
• Psychology in Film: Different topic every week, one of those weeks cover gender (Sometime next year)
• Online Gender Studies courses (Next semester) 

For more information about these courses, Dr. Hawthorne can be reached at [email protected]