Q: I am worried about long distance with my girlfriend over the summer. Any advice?
A: Thank you for reaching out. This is a tough issue that many people run into in college, especially in new relationships where summer is the first extended time being away from one another. To be completely transparent with you, at the beginning of this school year my girlfriend broke up with me because we started going to different schools. It is hard to be romantic with someone over long distance and over the phone, but that does not mean it is impossible. Summer break is only a few months, so I am confident that if you keep in consistent contact with her, you will make it through. Make sure that you both are putting in the effort to reach out and check in, as well as making your appreciation known to one another. Depending on how far the distance is, maybe you could go visit her once, and she could visit you once so the time apart is not as long. All it takes is a consistent effort from both sides to continue your relationship successfully. This distance may even make you closer when you are able to see each other again. I hope this helps.
Q: My friends all decided to live together next year and did not tell me. I am really upset and do not know what to do.
A: First off, I am so sorry this happened to you. It never feels good to be left out, especially when it involves your closest friends. This is not an easy situation, and it may be easy to feel like they donot want to be around you, but that may not be the case. Living situations can often be more complicated than they seem. For example, they may have found somewhere to live that is short of spots for your whole group. With that being said, I think your friends should have consulted you about their living plans regardless, especially if they knew you were counting on them to live with. I suggest you talk to them to figure out more about the situation and maybe you can work things out. You do not need to have this kind of negativity in your life and if your friends have been making you consistently upset, they may not be your friends. It is okay to stop engaging with people who are hurting you. I hope this helps.
Q: You are so good at giving advice. What is your advice to me to get better at giving advice to my own friends?
A: Thank you for saying that; I appreciate it as I try my best to do so. Giving advice to your friends is a dangerous game because if it does not work, they may blame you. Fortunately, I can avoid the consequences of my advice because you all ask questions anonymously, so I do not know who I am talking to. However, a big part of advice is just listening to your friends and validating their feelings. You cannot always be right about the situations they find themselves in, but you can try to make your best judgement call and work from there. I think if you try your best to be reasonable, your friends should appreciate the advice you give them. Good luck with giving advice and make sure to write again to let me know how it goes!
